manifesto

I have been assigned a paper in which I am to integrate Anthropology, my Faith and my Life. Narrowing it down a bit more, I choose to write a Manifesto. My professor responds "I don't want to hear anything about the past. I want this day forward." "This will mean very few quotes, mostly YOUR thoughts." So here I go. Brainstorming.

What are the essentials? What do I have to be and do in life from this day forward? What motivates me? Am I allowed to talk about the why's? How do I start?

Manifesto. Proclamation. Statement of Belief.

We went over our Strengthsquests scores again in class today. Some of the advice given to my type...

Attack your assignments immediately. Refuse to procrastinate. Turn in your work ahead of schedule. Enjoy the satisfaction of being done. Analyze how you avoid the pitfalls of "analysis paralysis" and excessive preparation.

Give yourself research deadlines within your overall timelines for completing papers. Without them, you might continue to read and read, never feeling like you have enough information.

Prioritize the most critical information to study. Otherwise, you might become distracted by other information that fascinates you but is not as relevant.

That all makes sense. All things I want to do.

I think I'll start with

what I believe.

what I am committed to.

how do i love you?

why does it take so much?

i have nightmares that you are going to leave. you are not going to stay there. you’re going to walk away again. we want to help you. at some point that becomes impossible and we’re getting so close. PLEASE don’t. please wait. please open your eyes before you get there. stay.

it was so close this last time. you slept on my couch and i woke up in the morning wondering what to do. i went to bed every night tucking you in wishing you were small again. we were a maybe only one shot away from losing you. from the streets. from the agony of having our love completely rejected.

i’m so afraid. i know i’m not supposed to live in fear. i wish i could change your mind. i don’t know how to let go. i don’t know how to watch you walk away.

how do i love you?