you know me better than I know myself

This person is able to call things out in me that I have not seen in myself. similar to culture, when one is an observer of another culture, she may notice things that members of the culture do not notice. What she notices is something the observed culture takes for granted.

[example: an observer of american culture may notice a general blandness in the American’s taste for food. Or, the strict individualism Americans hold themselves and one another to.]

I have my own culture. We all do, because not one of us has the same set of experiences. I’m used to doing things a certain way and not really questioning it. Slowly, good and bad thought processes, actions, etc. become so habitual, they are taken for granted.

[example: observers notice I move my lips when I’m not speaking, syncretizing with the person speaking to me. also, initial response from me tend to be extreme.]

The more intimate a relationship becomes, the more the people involved are able to identify behaviors, habits,... that are ‘strange’ in the other. When the behavior noticed and mentioned is especially impedimental, or especially honorable, our reaction is,

*this person knows me better than I know myself!*

Something is being named in “me” that has gone unchallenged thus far. I have not had to observe it, attempt to understand it, etc. because I did not recognize it as unusual, inappropriate, or special. Just normal. Just, me.

In order for the second party to bring it up, however, she has likely been observing and trying to understand for a while. It is not something that is normal to her.

When the naming conversation happens, it invokes a sort of breathtaking response.

*How could this person know this about me, so well, when I don’t even know what it means for myself?*

Explicating the consequential attachment does not take away from the heavy significance it carries.

Accomplishing the contrary, it dignifies the bond that has occurred.

We grow, form, soften, excel, exist, and move forward, living in complete dependence on the relationships we engage in; relationships with peers and with God.

We are dependent on those who know us better than we know ourselves,

we are dependent on the One who fully knows us...

better than we know ourselves.

alert yourself to Syncretism

The Soil and the Sun.

I attended a concert last night. I invited so many people. I asked The Record if I could write about it. It’s a local Christian band, after all.

nope nope no.

My roommate and I showed up at the apartment in Wicker Park, connected to a liquor store, where the concert was to be held, at 8:12. (worried about being late) Only a few people were there. It was the band and a few friends. They took us out to coffee, we went back, stood outside for a while... people streamed in. Someone stated playing some music around 10:30. The Soil and the Sun, the band we’d gone to see, didn’t play until around 11:30. It was one of my favorite nights so far this school year. Loads of students and drop outs from Chicago colleges, artists and environmentalists, PBR’s and pizza, dreads and cigarettes, ...

Everywhere I’m not supposed to be,

because the City is a mission field.

Am I aloud to be here? To just sit, and take it in? Turns out, half the kids who show up attend Christian colleges. Am I aloud to immerse myself in such culture without reciting the community covenant? Or at least explaining to the people sitting next to me that my college forbids me to drink alcohol?

I’m tired of being labeled a heretic for living in the world.

I read a chapter out of The Next Christendom for my Christian Though class. It was meant to be discussed in class. I entered class jittery to hear my classmates’ responses to the reading. I was especially struck by the theme throughout the text proclaiming Christianity as “infinitely translatable,” and able to be “inculturated in different societies, and each in turn contribut[ing] to the larger package of Christian beliefs.” What could be a better impetus for conversation?

Turns out, no one made a comment about this reading. No one. When I commented about the quotes above, I got no response from the class. I asked “Well, do you think that Truth exists anywhere in Christianity anymore? Or has it been altered so much over so many generations and societies that we have nothing left to grasp? If we say every other culture that practices a slightly different version of worship than we do is syncretistic, then we are necessarily saying that a true Christian lifestyle is non-existent today. right?.......because think about how much the practice of Christianity has to have been altered over the past 2,000 years.”

space

space

silence

Later in the day I walked into Anthropology in the Contemporary World. We talked about a chapter on god/God. A quote was brought up from our reading in Social and Cultural Anthropology :A Very Short Introduction, “Such faiths were once labeled syncretistic by anthropologists, who now avoid the term since all faiths, even the most orthodox forms of world religions, are historical mixtures of diverse beliefs and practices. ...it is doubtful that any world religion could ever achieve as high level of orthodoxy among its members as it might wish.” 130

This is the same issue we were discussing...er, I was discussing in Christian thought. I realized how different my thought patterns are both because I would choose to study anthropology, and because I have studied anthropology.

Obviously I’m biased as an anthro. major, but I’m worried about the views we push at Wheaton, the discussions we encourage, the actions we condemn. Christian Thought is a class required of every student, and granted not all classes are discussing the same material or content we are studying in my class, I worry that the general ideas, topics, being entertained by our students, will not be effective in preparing us to be “whole and effective Christians” in Chicago, let alone the world.

I find it extremely important to examine our judgments made on other cultural forms of worship. I find it extremely important to examine our judgments made on other practices of Christianity in the U.S. And I find it absolutely necessary to examine our judgments made on the variety of expressions of Christianity one can find on Wheaton Campus. The only other options I see are students living their entire lives ignorant of the beauty of God’s ability to relate to us as individuals and separate cultures,(which I would argue would leave them in an unhealthy and dangerous place in relation to God and others), or one day undergoing serious trauma when something forces a student to see how ‘syncretistic’ our culture is.

I don’t mind people treating me like I’m a rebel for sitting around with kids who smoke pot at a concert. In fact, I find the edgy reputation enjoyable. But I do have a problem with my peers consequently worrying about my soul because of these interactions, and being too dignified, pure, wise, and terrified to allow these experiences to form their hearts as well.

I don’t need you to agree with me. But will you at least talk about it?

down on Driscoll {this is for you, hans}

I'm taking a class called Social Research this semester, required since I'm an Anth major. We had to develop a research project proposal within the first few weeks of class, and we are spending the remainder of the semester carrying out each stage of the project while simultaneously learning the proper way to do so.

My group is studying effective responses to the growing epidemic of Pornography in the Evangelical world. Basically Porn is a huge problem, and is continuing to rise at astronomical rates with the internet, and I want to know what the Church is doing about it, and what more we should be doing about it.

So ...getting to the point. I've been researching. I found a book online by our favorite Mr. Mark Driscoll, Porn Again Christian. I've read through a lot of painful, horrifying, and provocative literature in this project. But nothing is more upsetting than inappropriate Christian responses. In his chapter on Masturbation, Driscoll posts questions that have been sent in, and his responses.

Question: My wife wants sex more than I do, what should I do?

Answer: Don’t tell your buddies or they will mock you incessantly for the rest of your life after staring at you blankly without blinking for about an hour in total silence. Do have sex with your wife as often as she likes and thank God.

I can't really imagine a more immature response. The book's supposed intention is to speak against mainstream culture in a bold, and of course provocative, way. Disgracefully, this statement strongly reinforces the mainstream's immature way of dealing with the issue. Having been prey to the actions that result from these attitudes, I felt incredibly angry when I came across this statement.

Reflecting a few days later, calmer, I understand that this jargon is pervasive in our culture. So pervasive that a Pastor can engage in it without being objected to. Discussing the issue in this language reminds me of the theory behind Systematic Racism. Basically, as long as we allow this attitude that glorifies sex as a god, the consequences including gender discrimination, sexual abuse, and inappropriate and misguided views of sexuality will persist.

blllllaaaaaaaa.jdhfoiseh.f!!!! ya know? i just need an amen...

rerun

I dreamt about a small plaid skirt

anger, shoving, laundry machine water

and the eyes of its murderer.

My dad held my hand.

I dreamt about fictional creatures

love, my own, light fur

and the hair of its murderer.

My dad held my hand.

I dreamt about soft lead drawings

unthought meaning,deep snug bunny ears

and the mind of their author.

My dad held my hand

and each time we started earlier.

and we got closer.

and the grass was dewy. and the icing pink.